These are my confessions
by mynKitska
Summary: Tokiya walks in on something that changes everything.  Brief mention of masturbation.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** These are my confessions  
><strong>Author: <strong>Kitska  
><strong>Character(s)|Pairing(s):<strong> Otoya, Tokiya; Tokiya/Otoya  
><strong>Rating:<strong> PG-13, one mature scene  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Brief mention of masturbation, overall fluff  
><strong>SummaryDescription:** Tokiya walks in on something that changes everything.

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><p>Silence greets Tokiya when he returns to his room late one night, which is odd considering who he's paired up with. Otoya rarely keeps quiet; even with his headphones on, he will hum, or tap his fingers to a beat only he knows. The only time his partner is quiet is when he's asleep, but there seems to be no one around.<p>

Muttering a soft _'tadaima' _as he enters, Tokiya hears the shower before he sees the light of their shared bathroom, the door slightly ajar. Curiosity compels him to investigate despite his logic telling him to respect Otoya's privacy. Then again, Otoya himself wasn't much of a private person to begin with, invading Tokiya's personal bubble as if he's been there all his life, so that logic is dead.

He leaves his bag on his bed and walks quietly towards the bathroom. There are other noises aside from the rush of water - a muffled groan, and a strange slopping sound.

"Otoya?"

No answer.

Tokiya enters the bathroom, ready to call out his partner's name and scold him for leaving the door open when the sight before him makes him flush a bright crimson.

Otoya under the shower isn't something Tokiya hasn't seen before, having shared a few showers at the younger boy's insistence. (_Bonding time is important~_was what he said. As much as Tokiya denied it, they did have plenty of time to bond even outside of bath time.)

This particular side of Otoya however, makes Tokiya flustered, nervous, and and just so slightly aroused. The redhead is pressed up against the wall, legs spread and hair obscuring his face, but that isn't the main attraction. No, the former idol's gaze is drawn to the hand between Otoya's legs, the fingers curled around his erection.

_A-ah, Otoya's masturbating under the shower. That would explain the moaning... Who would he think of though? Perhaps, Nanami-san? She is a pretty girl... Or her friend, Shibuya. She's pretty too-_

"T-to... Tokiya... Aah..."

Startled at the sound of his name uttered in such a lustful way, Tokiya hurries out of the bathroom, feeling his neck, face and ears heat up. God, Otoya's thinking of _him_? But why him? His personality isn't something desirable, so it must be his looks... Otoya doesn't seem to be the type to be attracted to men though, so what _is _it?

He retreats to his bed after quickly changing into his pyjamas, hiding under his covers. He can't seem to get Otoya's groan out of his mind, nor the way Otoya touches himself... He curses his body, squeezing his eyes shut and willing his growing arousal away.

Stupid sexy Otoya.

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><p>After what seemed to be eons later, Otoya steps out of the bathroom, humming his latest melody before he notices the blue-haired boy curled up under the covers.<p>

"Ah, Tokiya, _okaeri_! I didn't know what time you'll be back, so I got your clothes from the laundry and folded them for you just in case."

Hearing no answer from his partner, Otoya shrugs, changing into a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. Quietly, he pads over to Tokiya's bed, sitting on the floor beside it.

"Na, I know you're asleep, but I just wanted to let you know... I like you, Tokiya. Uh, I mean, I still like Nanami, but it's a different sort of like, yanno? She's a sweet girl, and I would date her, but lately I've been thinking of you a lot."

Smiling to himself and unaware that Tokiya was still awake, Otoya continues his confession, his voice steady and calming to the blue-haired teen's ears.

"I mean, I know we got off on a bad start. I really thought you were Hayato, since I didn't know he had a twin brother, and I thought, hey, maybe it's cool to know Hayato's younger twin brother, right? When it came to room assignments, I was happy when I found out you're my roommate, though I'm still sorry I went through your closet without asking and tried on Hayato's clothes. Didn't mean to make you angry, honest!"

Tokiya bites back a chuckle. As much as it angered him that time, looking back, he had found it pretty funny watching Otoya pretend to be his idol self, draped in sparkly purple and white clothes. He had no reason to snap at Otoya either back then; Otoya wasn't mocking him in any way, merely wishing to be like Hayato, famous and confident.

"When I first heard you sing at the audition rounds, I was scared. You're _perfect_, Tokiya. Your pitch, your tone, everything. I flunked my audition because I couldn't get myself up to your standard. Even with Nanami backing me up, I couldn't do it."

_But you did pass, _Tokiya wants to say. Otoya's love for singing was what drew the older teen towards him, keeping him entranced with how much heart the young male poured into his song. Passion, something Tokiya lacks, but Otoya has enough for the both of them and then some.

"I know I'm a big bother to you, but I can't help it. Back at the orphanage, there was always someone around for me to play with, so I was never alone. When you left for your part-time job, I get really lonely, that's why I keep texting you. But I know your job is important too..."

Tokiya turns silently to face Otoya. The redhead had his back towards the bed, so he didn't see the older male shift closer, listening intently.

"So I thought, since Tokiya is working, I should do the chores. It's easy enough, yanno, since I know what to do and stuff. Ahaha, kinda makes me sound like a housewife, right? But I'm not a girl... Does that make me a house-husband then?"

Otoya's voice is lulling him to sleep, his arousal fading. His partner sure talks a lot...

"Then, somehow, I think I started to like you more than a friend. Uhm, I mean, those times you helped me with homework, eating lunch together, the baths together... I don't know how or why, but I fell in love with you."

Tokiya's mind flashes back to the scene in the bathroom, and he bites his lip again. He curses inwardly, willing the memory away even as his body heats up.

"Uh, I'm sure you don't want to know this but, sometimes I jerk off thinking about you. I used to listen to your recordings to get off, but now I only have to think of your voice and I'm-"

"Which song do you usually listen to?"

Tokiya winces as Otoya squeaks and stumbles over to his side of the room, eyes wide and face redder than his hair.

"T-t-t-Tokiya? You're awake?"

"Since I came home, while you were in the shower, Otoya."

Otoya whines, pulling his blanket over his head in an attempt to hide himself.

"You saw me jerking off too?"

"Yes."

Another whine.

"I don't find you unattractive."

"... Really?"

Otoya peeks from under his blanket, and Tokiya smiles, moving off the bed to kneel in front of his roommate.

"Back then, at the re-audition, I couldn't keep my eyes off you. Your song had more feeling than mine, and it reminded me why I was here in this school. You're not a bother. A little annoying at times, but not a bother."

"Tokiya..."

"Thank you, Otoya. For everything."

Otoya sniffles - _oh shit is he going to cry_, Tokiya thinks - before lunging forward to hug the older boy, causing the both of them stumbling back onto the floor.

"Tokiya, Tokiya~"

"Shush. Let's get some sleep before we wake up the whole dorm."

"Can I sleep in your bed?"

"..."

"Please?"

"... Alright. Just don't move too much."


	2. review

So I received this review from Z03-Y on 2011-09-29 for my story "These are my confessions":

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><p>Obviously, you didn't read the ratings system properly, because K+ indicates "Suitable for more mature childen, 9 years and older...Should not contain any adult themes." And this has PLENTY of adult themes. This should be labeled Tenn, not K+.<p>

That technicality aside, your writing isn't too awful. But Tokiya seems out of character. WAY out of character. Even Ittoki to a certain extent. His innocence is completely blasted here. The story leaves a bad after-taste. Blech.

Also, "..." does not account for proper dialogue of any kind. Unless you're writing comic book dialect. :/

Try again, dude. 'Cause this failed to hit home at all.

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><p>Did a background check on this cactus, and after doing certain deductions, I replied to her with the following:<p>

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><p>Firstly, thank you for negative feedback. I appreciate your effort for typing this out even though I know it was painful for you, being a cactus and all. As for the ratings, I wasn't able to find the 'Tenn' setting, so I placed it under 'Teen' instead. That's about the same right? Though, last I remembered, Tenn is the short form for Tennessee and not a fiction rating.<p>

Secondly, could you help me point out which part of Tokiya and Otoya did I went out of character? It would be nice if I have something specific to look out for so I can prevent further OOC errors. Was it because Tokiya became flustered so easily? Was it because Otoya dug through Tokiya's closet and played with his clothes? I would appreciate a little more specificity.

Thirdly, this is fanfiction. It's written by a fan for other fans. I don't expect it to be published in a book format and get money from it, so I believe an ellipsis is acceptable in writing terms. If you have noticed from my other stories, I tend to write spoken dialogue separate from the general writing scheme, because this is how I write. I am influenced by the Japanese novel writing style, and I find the format easier to write as I don't have to crack my head thinking of words other than 'said'. I'm lazy, yes, but that's how I write.

I apologise for the bad aftertaste my poorly written fanfiction gave you, but in my defence, if you don't like it, why do you read it in the first place? You could have closed the window and carried on minding your own business. Unless you have tact and the ability to give constructive criticism as well as stories of your own to prove that you are a better writer, you have little right to slam other people's works and proclaiming them substandard. I would dismiss you as a troll, but then it'll give other trolls a bad name.

May Leviathan have mercy on your cactus soul.

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><p>I hope this trollcactus person realises how <em>delightfully awesome<em> she is.

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><p><strong>Aki:<strong> Thanks for the input. I'll take that into mind the next time. :3

**Miss Cactus Z03-Y:** what Aki posted is called **constructive criticism** because she points out exactly where I've been off and in a very polite manner too. Learn from her and don't make an account with no credentials just to be rude to others.


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